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Friday, June 11, 2010

Confessions of a Serial Killer

He's killed 19 people since 2007 - none of them a relative - says he has 83 more homicides to commit, marvels at drinking his victim's blood, competes with God in the right to take a human being's life, can be easily called a psychopath or Narcissist with his remorseless face, is one of the few known G4$ employees who left the security firm without stealing and hiding millions of shillings under the carpet, he's getting more popular than the viral Makmende, and his cult, though without name is perhaps far worse than the Finger of god.

If you are a Kenyan, you must be cursing but shivering in fear at the thought of our latest inductee on the hall of cult fame. If you are not, the aforementioned profile belongs to one and only Philip Onyancha, or Onyan-cult as we will be refereeing to him in this article. He happens to be the only individual in Kenya who is effortlessly and successfully competing with the world cup craze in Kenya in every measure. As a matter of fact, football widows at least have gotten something to talk about as their men give them temporary separation for the love of the game. 

The women, who euphemistically love 'sharing' information have found a companion who they can talk about, albeit in disgust and disdain, and help them get the much needed break from football penalties, freekicks and red cards. Quite a pity though that this companion has come in the form of a serial killer.

But I bet on England winning the world cup that some would rather watch Onyan-cult's chilling story than tune it to a station showing 22 shaving men following "an air-filled sphere with a circumference, a  weight 410–450 g, inflated to a pressure of 0.6–1.1 at "at sea level", and covered in or "other suitable material, (juala?)" according to Wikipedia and Law 2 of the Game. of 68–70 cm leather

Back to Onyan-cult.

This former student of Kenyatta Mahiga High School confessed that he was introduced to a cult by his former teacher, who, before surrendering to the authorities, had gone AWOL after watching her former student in cult-ology, biology et all come out and confess that he draws pleasure from killing children women and drinking their blood. Whether this is what he was taught in school still remains a mystery.

For four years, Onyan-cult's charming, humble and loyal nature has helped this 'breadwinner', as he is described by his wife who has fled home, take the lives of 19 people, including prostitutes. Which brings me a discussion we had in a Christian Worldview class. What more do women need? Is it freedom or security, if not both?

Based on Onyan-cult's story, I know most women would say, security, and argue that had the men been more careful and avaricious with their properties (women and children if you belong to such cultures), Onyan-cult could have had no chance to commit his blood-curdling murders.

Or is it freedom? Had men so protective of the unfortunate victims and let the women stay at home, hence deny them freedom to roam, may be, and just may be, they could still be living.

But is Onyan-cult the really person to blame? Did he fall a victim of his much more intellectually superior teacher and gotten so much engrossed in the ills that he was taught to the extent that there wasn't a point of return for him? And now that we know how many lives he's wiped out of existence, is he the only member and how big is the cult and how many kills has the teacher made herself? Could she have taught Onyan-cult how to kill without having made kills herself?

"When I got involved, I didn't know what I was getting into," were the lamentations of Onyan-cult when he was asked about how he became so morally decayed in deeds and indeed action. His answer calls for a level of sympathy, if not understanding, but of course this differs depending on whether you are a victim or not.

As a teenager who was undergoing major transformations both physically and psychologically, Onyancha was quite vulnerable and the fact that he got swayed into joining the cult by the former teacher, Elizabeth Wambui Kimani just underlines the level of abandonment the parents are subjecting their children to.

How many stories do we hear and read about children and devil worshiping, especially in boarding schools? How many parents try to get insight into the kind of groups their children belong to? Your guess is as good as Onyan-cult's teacher who took advantage of his parent's negligence and let me pay school fees and no more attitude.

While Onyan-cult's deeds are utterly despicable, cannibalistic, brutal, gory and he deserves to be sent to Guantanamo bay, we cannot entirely crucify him for letting his vulnerability as a teenager get the best out of his 'disciplined, humble and loyal' nature.

It almost compares to Esther Arunga and Hellon's case. Who's to blame? Is it Esther or Hellon? Is it Elizabeth or Onyancha?

Kati ya Onyan-cult na Finger of god, ni gani kali? To answer this, lets keep up with the spirit of game and say...

The first game is played at Onyan-cult's Gusii stadium. The FOG are away. The referee is the House of Yahweh. Fiirrr... Onyan-cult wins on the home match, measured by the number of goals he's scored; where a goal is directly proportional to a kill, but inversely proportional to stirring controversy. The Finger of god salvages some points, based on the team name, ability to stir controversy, tongue-breaking but nonsensical vocabulary, their  present, though irrelevant muscle within the political arena and the ability to stop players from transferring to a different club (sorry Wilson Malaba).

In the return match, with the Finger of god at home and the paradigm being longevity, FOg wins outrightly, given that Onyan-cult's reign has come to an abrupt end before he scores his target of 100 goals (read lives taken) in God-knows how many years. However, Onyan-cult's coach, El-izabeth is still in the running to collect the coach's trophy together with Hel-on. What the H-El!!

Finger of god qualifies to the next round. But who do they meet in the finals? But what might the Fog transform itself to in the near future? What are they behind those cameras in Runda?

In the beginning of Rrrrichard, there was El-izabeth. In the beginning of Estherrrr, there was Hell-on. What the Hel or El is wrong with Kenyans? Why are Kenyans behaving like some mak...mende?

And that's thesteifmastertake!!