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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Child Soldiers - Victims and Perpetrators in One

Thousands of children, as young as nine, are fighting in wars and conflicts around the world that they neither know their roots nor the fruits – if any – that will be harvested if such wars come to an end. These young boys and girls are spread across the world, from Latin America to Asia, from Europe to Africa. 

But the problem is mostly critical in Africa. 

Armed conflict in countries like Sudan, Liberia, Democratic Republic of Congo and Uganda have all seen the forceful use of children as soldiers. In Uganda, a 22-year period of war between Uganda’s Lord Resistance Army (LRA) and the Ugandan government saw Ugandan children being recruited in massive numbers to the serve the self-seeking warlords. 

The children bore the brunt of constant conflict, disease and death, not only as victims; they were also forced participants in atrocities and egregious crimes that the rebels waged on villagers. LRA leader Joseph Kony wanted to overthrow the government and rule Uganda under the Biblical Ten Commandments. To achieve this, he needed a strong contingent of armed troops to help him fight against the government. When getting qualified men ready and willing to serve him proved to be a tall order, he resorted to raiding villages where his minions barefacedly abducted children from their relatively tranquil homes and forced them to serve in the cruel and intolerable ranks of the LRA. 

The children, though expected to perform their duty in reigning terror on their once friends and villagers are sometimes beaten in the bush without mercy, made to carry heavy loads on their heads and tow ammunition and arms for long and tedious distances and also forced to assemble out in the cold each day as they get commands on where to strike next. Although many of these children are recruited by force, some join after seeing their friends get killed for turning down such an “offer”, while others join voluntarily to escape from domestic violence, poverty, lack of jobs and shortage of education opportunities. The desire to avenge the killing of relatives or other violence arising from war has also been an important motive. 

The LRA abducted thousands of children to use as soldiers and slaves throughout their 22-year war with the government of Uganda. They also killed thousands of people and displaced about 2 million. Girls as young as 11 years were not spared as they added to the statistics of young girls who got raped by men on a nightly basis. 

This ruthless exploitation of children by such armed rebels, government-backed paramilitary groups, militias and self-defence units to further their own material and political ends stands out as one of the most grotesque human rights abuses Uganda has witnessed. Although some of them might have ran away from the rebels, or helped out by human rights bodies, the pain from thorough beating and the anguish of rape, the thought of having taken the life of an innocent person and the fear of having a disease are still fresh in the minds of many. 

Most of the children have even lost confidence in living a normal life, while the society attests that teaching or transforming children who once served as child soldiers and have suffered violent traumatic experiences, is a daily challenge. In some cases, music and dance have become a form of escape for many kids and given them hope that they can put their LRA experiences behind them and begin new lives. 

In spite of being universally condemned as an unacceptable and abhorrent act, despite some progress being made, efforts to end the recruitment and use of children in armed conflict is too little, and even too late for many children who suffer from psychological trauma as a result of what they were forced to do. 

Governments and non-governmental organizations must step up their efforts in not only condemning those who force children into this abuse, but the recruiters must be prosecuted by the International Criminal Court. Appropriate support, both economical and psychological must also be accorded to the children affected and their families to help these children who are literally bleeding in the inside, crying on the out and wondering why the world is so cold.

And That's thesteifmastertake!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Where Are These Africans in the Billionaires List?

For the third time in three years, the world has a new richest man. I read this recently when the 2010 Forbes list of the World’s billionaires was released to interested parties and the entire public.

This anecdotally meant that the only consistent man who the gates of richness have always been kind to in 14 of the last 15 years, Billy Gates, was displaced, albeit a little.

But the inquisitive part of me wanted to know who this new man, who has worked hard enough to bulge his relatively slim resources to top the billionaires list was. I have to admit as an African, I had hoped that man was in the least, in possession of African blood. Obama-like to be precise.

Whether this portrays me as a racist is debatable, but I don’t think it’s any different from a case where one would wish that his countrymen scoop a podium finish in a major athletics event.

Back to the billionaires list. It is the Mexican tycoon, Carlos Slim Helue who now holds that green title, with a fortune estimated at $53.5 billion. This, thanks to surging prices of his telecom holdings, including giant Mobile outfit America Movil, I read.

The second position almost predictably went to Billy Gates, Microsoft Co-founder, now worth $53 billion, with the third billionaire buffet going to the one Warren Buffet.

Failing to admit that I felt rather let down by the list would be doing this space injustice.

The more I continued reading down, the more I got disenchanted, the more I felt like reading more. But since I had one mission this year (to find an African in that list) I proceeded with the reading anyway.

I bounced on such facts indicating that the 10-figure titans jumped from 793 last year to 1,011 this year, this in spite of the global downturn that almost melted down world economies in the fiscal year past.

As one would have thought, US billionaires are still a  class above the rest, accounting for an astounding 40% of the world’s filthy rich, even though Asian moguls are climbing the rich ladder as fast as the Chinese and Indian economies are flourishing.

Of the 97 new billionaires on the list, 16% are from the US, while Asia added 104 financial magnates. Asia now has 14 fewer billionaires than Europe, further endorsing the now seemingly inevitable fact that economic antennas  are increasingly facing the Singh’s, Suzuki’s and Lee’s of this world.

In total, some 55 countries are represented, and one would be tempted to think an African nation or individual would in the least hold the last position.

But oops!! None appeared.  Even Mike Ashley, the once embattled Magpies (Newcastle United) football club owner had his name being mentioned in the same breath as the rich guns, though his dwarfed $1.5 billion fortune only attracted limited naming.

So the billion dollar question is. Where are Africans in this moneyed list? Is there no African who is racking in millions of dollars and mating them to give birth, or abort billions enough to deserve mentioning?

You think yes huh? I beg to differ. Africa has billionaires.

There’s no doubt that Africa is the last remaining of the wealthy continents. With Europe and America having preceded the rest and found a way to fully exploit their expansive resources – and the Asians doing exactly the same right now – Africa for the umpteenth time is lagging behind.

But not for long. The scenario could suddenly change as the Chinese and Europeans scramble for the fertile resources that Africa has to offer. If the resources are exploited suavely (without such people churning the resources and carrying the billions to their home countries) we could as well see that list of billionaires inducting in Africans.

But perhaps Africa is not lagging behind. There are people, euphemistically referred to as businessmen, who are hell-bent in dragging it towards the tail end. There are people who are far more worse than the criminals who instigate gross human rights violations and supervise mass killings. There are people who are far more worse than the extremist al-Shabaab of Somalia or the LRA rebels in Uganda, or even the mutineers in Congo, a group of people who stop at nothing than reign terror on their native people, and whose ill-intentions are clearly defined and their atrocities can be seen or experienced, or both, even when they strike in broad daylight.

This group of cannibals, not new to Africa, should be in the billionaires list. What more does it take to be in the list, if all one needs is establish a good business (not clean), excel at it, and always work to double or triple the proceeds?

This group of people are the deceitful financial kleptomaniacs who have inherited the vice of corruption from their fathers and continue outclassing rivals at it.

Every year, they pocket in millions of taxpayer’s money in fictitious deals and scandalous scams. They have made corruption become an industry in itself. A booming one for that matter. One that is able to sustain their big bellies time and again, so long as the poor man’s starvation wages can always be deducted to support their gourmand nature. All they need is to trick someone to sleep on their jobs, or just find the slightest opening, and the rest could as well be history. They run riot. Literally. Most of the times, in a line-up.

From boardrooms to policy documents, taskforces to even matters that are so dear to the hearts of the poor masses, the vice continue to be packaged and camouflaged such that one only gets to hear of it once the unscrupulous deals have been sealed, and the participants have retreated into their mendacious shells of innocence.

So why not feature in the billionaires list while corruption has become a staple of African big man’s diet? While there’s a poverty of performance in improving the lives of the holi polloi in many of the continent’s impoverished nations.

The vice continues to thrive in a society bereft of the moral fiber and virtue of doing good. While those who have been made poor continue to be confined in dingy and filthy dwellings and even corners of prison life, the rich are cushioned to such life. After all, they can always buy their freedom and comfort. After all, they can always find foreign accounts where they can stash their billions in.

And because we are forced to dwell in a society where poverty has inherited us with cowardice, we have become persistent in watching these people sin in silence instead of protesting. They buy jewels and high-end automobiles, build mansions, and all we do is sit in our 'business as usual' rags. When we all die as paupers and leave our children without an education or healthcare, their children spend millions in buying toys and playing video games.

In countries like my Kenya, corruption has become almost like a requisite holiday, one that must be celebrated at least every month. It has also emerged like an exchange programme, where if today the left wing gets a slice of its millions from the taxed-man, the right wing – not willing to feed on crumbs – willingly reciprocates in the subsequent and most recent time.

Never mind the persons whose dreams of a sustainable life are always gnashed and crushed by the barbaric, inconsiderate and heartless teeth of corruption and its chauffeurs are the poor, who read the billionaires list every year and wonder why African big men in the highly rewarding corruption industry are yet to feature in the Forbes list.

But when will the Yom Kippur for these thieves be over?

To kick corruption out of Africa, perpetrators of theft of public money  should be tried in the Hague, and this can only be possible if such thievery is categorized as a crime against humanity. Thus, the thieves should be driven in the same vehicle and on the wheels that would drive the likes of Charles Taylor, Foday Sankoh, Jean-Pierre Bemba, Thomas Rubanga, Germain Katanga, Omar Bashir, Mathieu Ngudjolo Chui, and others who will sooner than later be indicted by the International Criminal Court (ICC).

The wealthier countries in the West who continue to live with robbers from out of Africa but shamelessly lecture Africa on transparency, good governance, ending impunity, encouraging developmental politics, accountability, self-reliance and what have you should look keenly into their populations and see how many Africans who have ill-gotten their wealth walk freely along their streets. After identifying them, because they are there, they should be tracked down, their accounts frozen, and any money and investments found should be returned to the home country, while these criminals should be punished in the most severe way to deter would-be eaters.

Don't we know that some of the people who have lived through the corrupt regimes and reaped their millions have fat cheques waiting in major banks in the West? Don't we know that all the aid and grant money that is annually pumped into African economies end up in these morons' foreign accounts? And what about the other forms of conspiracy where NGOs acquire aid money with the pretext of helping Africa, only for the biggest percentage of such amounts to be spent on administrative matters?

We also need to remove pacifists who stand and watch the corrupt as they excel in the vice , but only say 'I will not participate in corruption,' than confront these people. We also need to remove from our offices those who in the face of corruption, they settle in putting their heads down like a question mark and do nothing more. These group of people only serve to fan the evil fire of corruption.

Granted, corruption is common in Africa but not endemic to it. Africans are not brain-thick nor mentally bent as the West wrongly implies them to be. The Black continent can burgeon without aid money and other handouts if the west  recognizes that fact, and more so, they stop conspiring with corrupt regimes.

The continent also needs the last remaining people who still have morals to come out and shout, or in the least, raise their voices. Only when we learn to speak more against the ills affecting the modern Africa will we stop begging, start developing and find one, two or many of our own in the billionaires list. And we don't have to work our butts off because we have the brains, the will, the manpower and the resources. We just have to intend to do good, and do good. 

And that's thesteifmastertake!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

What if Hellon is a True Disciple Being Persecuted?

The Holy Book talks so much about the second coming of Jesus Christ. So much so that people seem to have completely forgotten the stress and anguish that the only movie-like star known to man - who starred in a long series and eventually succumbed at the hands of the killer/s – undergone in his days on earth. But in spite of having the knowledge that this man was not welcomed on Earth before, we still expect him to fly back, carry our bondage and take us to a land that has neither been promised nor identified yet. We still expect him to come back and be investigated by FBI and get whipped by the GSU.

Everyone who believes in the Christian faith, both sinners and the pure in heart, look forward to the coming down of this man from that imaginary place we all like but even Pope John never wished to go to that soon. Heaven. But there’s something else many people are either oblivious of, or they simply overlook it.

Before Jesus was born of the lovely, professional, Guinness Book of Records, Hall of Virginity inducted Virgin Mary, prophets like Moses and Elijah, apostles like Paul (Patni?), martyrs like Stephen (Ayoo or whatever the second name was), and professional baptizers like John (Dr Owour) the Baptist were all dumped into the earth in slum-like conditions like Dandora to reportedly prepare the way, spread the full red carpet (not half) and provide the necessary mobile lavatories – to ensure Iko toilet – for the Holiest son of man ever.

Whether they succeeded in their duties or not is an issue that can only be addressed by the then Head of Public Service. But the man came anyway.

So before we can expect this man to set his feet again in this cursed and increasingly murkier land, we need some people, disciples or apostles of sort to prepare the route and do a better job than Francis Mathaura and the Mombasa DC did when Raila went calling at the coastal town.

Which begs the question. Who are these new breed of disciples who are ready to put all that investment, go through all that trouble, criticism, false accusations, negative publicity et all in their obstinate quest to beautify and prepare the cleanest, most tranquil and astute way for Jesus before he pays us a visit? I mean build a paradise where he can relax with dinner by the beach, or in one of the exceptional restaurants painted with brilliant, invigorating aromatic flowers trying to outdo the other in colour and design. I mean a Shangri-la of random perfection and maximum beauty, like a fabulous necklace of topaz, emerald and turquoise in a setting of silver with perfect peace. I mean a place where he can watch the game (the beautiful one or Big Five) aboard a jacuzzi, while calmly sipping on his cappuccino or cocktail of fruits, which have not been picked, but chosen. I mean a place where he would slide from his bed suspended in mid-air look outside the window and have the finest view of the early exquisite morning sunlight perambulating across the equally virtuoso African sky. I mean a place where every step he takes along the eucalyptus tree-lined streets, is marked with importance  and vavavoom, confetti falling from the sky, oomph and circumstance. I mean… a place where he would nod to every finger that comes out of exploring the soup on his plate to his mouth and… I mean, all that and many more.

And all this will be happening in Kenya. Don’t we all know that in spite of all the grand corruption, Kenya is the chosen nation in this world? So it goes without saying that God and Jesus have reached a consensus and the second-in-command man has been advised to land in Kenya for a treat, and just traverse through other cities in his way back to Heaven.

But who are these disciples?

Look no further. Believe it or not, the Finger of God may just be one of those appointed and anointed taskforces which the man living in hiding is willing to pick at least one disciple from. And with affirmative action and gender equality one of the main things of this 21st Century, there of course has to be a woman in the mix. Lest there be a chapatti strike. I know many men wouldn’t want to be taken out of the woods this soon.

But a hack of the password into God’s iMac reveals to me a worrying trend. Many of the disciples, apostles and teachers back in the days who dared to provide free education to the public on the need to worship the one and only God were gotten rid of at the earliest, most opportune and un-Hague-like manner.

We read of crimes against humanity and gross human rights violations like stones being pelted onto someone in them days. The name Stephen is actually synonymous with stones. We read about some disciples who died in unforgiving environment like North Eastern and some others being fed to the Lions of Maasai Mara. All these because of rebuff. Yes we rejected those who prepared the way for the coming of Jesus. And now we are rejecting some of people who are either predicting the re-coming, foreseeing end times, or claiming they have been sent by God.

So what if…

What if Hellon is right good people. What if it is through his loathed FoG church and laughed at Placenta Party of Kenya outfit, that God (who has the reputation of working in mysterious circumstances) is using to prepare way for the coming of Jesus? What if God is bringing the salvation that this country desperately needs through FoG?

And what if, folks, the same God, through his other previous brilliant works of art like Tom Mboya and J.M. Kariuki, has appointed Hellon and crew to bring change that this country craves for? What if Vedetis Supanova is one of those disciples who are preparing the way for the coming of the most superior VEDETIS SUPANOVA?

What if he is Je… Blasphemy!! Joseph Hellon can never be a Jesus. A Jesus who has even spent a better part of his life at backstreet would do much better than urging his flocks to take more wine than water, and then drive at it.

What if these people who have faced all that ridicule at the hands of the public have been sent to this world for a special mission?

What if these people are the disciples of the 21st century people!!

If they are not, then for all the people whose list of 2010 resolutions includes helping someone, forget about the form four leavers who need financial help for them to be able to pursue their Bachelors Degree in Biblical science. Forget about Mau which needs trees. Forget about Prime Minister Raila Odinga who needs a full carpet, or Simon Mbugua who needs proper battering. Forget about wasting your idle street-demonstration-energy in defending your tribal kinsman, whether Sam Ongeri who has oversaw Free Primary Education funds go on a safari, never to come back, or even maize-crushing William Ruto who knows that too much grain is healthy for the body, or even Musalia Mudavadi who perhaps knows that the dead are, especially rich. Forget about them.

These are the people who need our help.

Even if their bodies are so humongous and stalwart like the former Nakumatt Thika Road, we shall hire bulldozers and earthmovers from Israel, or borrow earthquake from Haiti. If their desires are so pertinacious like the pirates of Somalia, we shall hire Bainbridge from the US. If their brains are so hard-lined, we shall seek quintessential negotiation skills of the one and only jab, Koffi Annan. If their case is too tricky to tackle, we shall either take them to Hague, or form a committee of experts to interdict, investigate, audit and re-audit then burn the findings in a fictitious inferno. And if their hearts and souls are hard to change, we shall call Brother Obama to launch a massive “Yes We Can” campaign. And if their faith is so convoluted to reallocate, we shall brand Zuma (Quincy) and Hellon as gay persons, and Esther and Wakikuyu as lesbians, transport them to Malindi, alert the residents about a planned wedding, move the resources (stones) near Wananchi, sit back and watch the events that follow. After all, it would be a nice way to die. A martyr.

And after their ascension to heaven or hell - whichever comes first – and it emerges that these guys were right and truly the sons and daughters of Him, we wouldn’t have to wait for their second coming. We shall exhume the bodies, put them in white caskets, request the department of registration to provide that ID Card passport photograph, transport the bodies to Nakuru, seek the services of Kingdom Seekers Fellowship, and wait for our Finger of God-ers to prove that Lazarus might have been the first one to resurrect, but he will not be the last one.

Did I hear someone say Amen! God Bless Kenya.

And That’s thesteifmasterake!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Placenta Party of Kenya's Political Dreams Realistic

Did I hear right that Esther Adongo is seeking compensation totaling to an astronomical 330 million shillings from her family, some Mr. Njenga and the media for wrongful detention, defamation, being kept comatose, sedation and whatnots?

While this sounds like a long shot, a very long one indeed (I don't think the Kenyan court can give out such a claim) it just serves to prove that our lady is quite ambitious, if not over, and perhaps extravagant in her mind.

But assuming the gods and odds are not stacked against her and she even gets half of that ransom+bountry+G4S-like money, Esther and her Placenta (keep on chuckling at this name, I don't know why) Party of Kenya's political dreams and aspirations may as well be quite realistic.

If there's one thing Kenyans excel at, it must be forgetting, and boy are we good at that. Kenyans tend to give a better performance at forgetting, granted that you can put a plate of sour Omena on their table, or just a few in-the-long-term useless coins in their bribe-prone shallow pockets.

And this is where the ahm.. Placenta Party of Kenya's conceivably empty political debes could suddenly turn into a gold mine. They can bank on the forgetful voter, by playing the bribe 'em game. As simple as knowing that some people in this country have gone mad.

Although, realistically, the highest amount the knockout may get out of the corridors of justice-for-the-big-fish, injustice-for-the-small-ones would be utmost Sh5 million, lets just work with assumptions.

With more than just anecdotal evidence, lets assume she gets half of what she's yearning for. A simple back of the envelope calculation shows the figures of 165 million shillings. A decent amount, considering that you can bribe close to the likely 15 million Kenyan voters with 10 million each and still remain with, well, a decent amount. This remainder can then be used to fly in the clones of Larry King and Sarah Palin (remember them?), proving all the right doubters wrong. A part of it may also be used to pay Synovate, Strategic PR and Infotrak Harris so that PPK be included in the opinion polls.

Such an amount would no doubt also make Adongo and co be taken seriously, and seasonal politicians quake in their boots. Personally, I wouldn't mind being the campaign manager, as long as am not given a name like Oesophagus Nebula Insanity II.

But such a bribing-frenzy would be quite unnecessary, especially to a group which has done enough to sow a bad reputation and amass negative publicity. Besides, our political analysts are always there wearing glasses and sitting in front of intimidatingly big books as they give mendacious analysis on how the political game is going to draw or score out. 

When, you bribe the voters - analysts excluded - they would always cast spells of unfavourable reviews on your side. But as we have seen of late, PPK is a party that never settles for less. Kenya's political analysts are less. So why not hire, or get for free, renowned political analyst Paul Green, Ph.D, to discuss about their political chances? Venue? Their Runda home.

Besides, such a high number of bribery would make Ranneberger run to his house and call White House and Britain with reports of impunity. He would then hang up, only for Obama to call back and say he's tired and would like to take a trip to Nebula.

But even if all this happens, the Placenta Party of Kenya would have still won because of a simple reason. The bribed Kenyans would have voted them in - anyway.

But having finished galloping the bribes and washed their hands at it, Kenyans would have started calling unto the new government (PPK) to curb corruption at the exchequer, ban pyramid schemes which have made many lose their fingers in the hope of getting... more fingers,  compel NASA to bring back faithful who flew to Nebula to continue praying for the resurrection of the two Nakuru pastors, recall all vehicles without the registration numbers: PPK Arunga na Hellon Crazy? since they are faulty, and also address issues common to the common Mwananchi like releasing academic results of students who cheated in the very hard examinations and sack that errant minister whose wife bought all the maize the country has from the NCPB, such that the only food available to Kenyans is that yellow emaciated camel harvested from Mandera in North Eastern province.

I wonder what's next for these guys. Blame it on the perennial traffic jam in the country which seems to hold up everything. Plus, Esther looks a little bit ill. It's hence common knowledge that she shouldn't be baptized right now, lest the placenta fail to take up nutrients.

Actually, I know what's next. Yeah. Adongo's political names. I won't start guessing because I don't have space to accommodate names like... put your suggestions under the comments section.

If these new breed of politicians are "crazy" how "crazier" can they get? And if they are not...

The placenta is an organ (party) that connects the developing fetus (Kenyans) to the uterine (craziness) wall to allow nutrient (sound mind) uptake, waste (conscience) elimination and gas (insanity) exchange via the mother's (Finger of God's) blood supply.                     Source: Mimipedia

And Thats thesteifmastertake!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Arunga to Blame for Hellon's Woes - Not Vice Versa

They say behind every successful man, there’s a woman. I say behind every man aiming for success, there is a woe-man. And Hellon’s woman has been the lovely – really? – somebody Wakikuyu, and his woe-man, well, Esther (Arunga) Adongo Supanovess Vedeoxen, whatever whatever Timberlake.

Hellon’s success can be measured by the fact that he’s emerged as one of the, if not the, most gifted jazz musicians the East African region has been able to abort after a long gestation period. That’s just the furthest methinks most of us know of his success. Of course he has the money. And if he doesn’t, he should. Success equals money.

Having said that, one never fails to wonder where Esther chips in in Hellon’s so far so interesting life and success. Nowhere? Just follow me.

Everybody seems to be baying for Hellon’s blood. If Mr. Vedetis Supanova were to be seen passing along the Moi Avenue, without some three or so barrel-chested, fat-fingered, chubby bouncers, then merrily merrily I say unto you he could as well be playing jazz music to Lucifer in a controversial table in the nebula by now.

Mob justice. The only wheel of justice in Kenya that ensures justice is served immediately, if not ASAP.

But why does everyone think Supanova is the person on the wrong in this whole Finger of God saga. Is it because he happens to be the owner of the Church, or is it because he’s a lesser celebrity than Esther is/was. Isn’t it not a case of chauvinism and some sort of naivety that we are blaming Hellon for the woes of a grown-up, urbane and erudite woman who can, but is neither willing nor interested in deciding what’s good for her and what’s not?

Hasn’t Esther come out time and again with her melodious voice rattling in defence of the suspicious activities  of their (not Hellon’s) Church? Who can claim she has done and continue to do all these under duress?

And if Vedetis’ (don’t get confused, this is the same guy – Hellon Supanova, Nebula etc) cultist nature is nearing a rated R or irreversible level, who’s that individual who accompanies him to every press conference as they announce their latest level of… ahm… insanity? It is the stunning one.

And just who is that instigating legal suits against her family and pressing charges against the press? It is the mwaah one.

And if Quincy (in his lonely world in the cells) was just about to confess his transgressions and ask the authorities and the court to pardon him, who was that who came out of a psychiatrist’s clutch and announced what surely made the man feel like he was in the placenta of a Nebula? It is the gorgeous one.

And she even lionizes the man,
many a time referring to him as “my president.” Apparently, there’s not only any other god, but also a president, who’s not the people’s president. But may be she's right. Remember not even the Americans know who really won the crazy presidential elections in 2007. May be Hellon did, may be Ng'ethe did.

So, for all of you critics who are contemptuously spewing smoke and dust into Hellon’s face, claiming that the Placenta Party of Kenya (they need a DM somewhere to be registered) numero uno overstepped his mandate just by seeking and securing the soul of a beauty guru who has no doubt given PPK that extra publicity, give him a break. The Supanova is just doing what he does best; playing his super music.
And if the likes of Esther and Atuech are already too willing to wiggle their waists and dance to the nebulous tunes, let them. In fact, let whosoever wants to perambulate on that trajectory do so, whether it spells doom, gloom or both.

So whomsoever has been vituperating and pointing accusing fingers at our president who is in for a hell of a waiting, its high time you realized the man is not at fault, though the fault may be on him. All the accusing fingers should be cursing at the former TV queen, Atuech and other members of the FoG hardliners, present or former. They made him staunchly believe that he was on the right route to no-man's land.
In the intervening time, just let the man live in peace and tranquility. Esther screwed Esther and continues to screw Esther.

The best you can do is always advice the young ones to rush to their bedrooms whenever the A-two are almost gracing the telly with their latest announcement. Am personally beginning to feel my hair raising whenever I see them exude their nonchalant and faultless walk down that small hill before they settle for that press conference. The car (read lady) in front is always A-doyongo, with Hellon just about there.

The level that Placenta Part of Kenya has reached calls for warnings of viewer discretion and needs keen parental guidance.

"We are introducing into the Kenyan political landscape things that have never been heard before and terminologies that have never been heard before," Hellon, oh sorry the protostar that burns so bright and so strong, 15million degree celcius and at a speed so strong and so fast that it dazzles every form of competitor - including Bifwoli - was quoted saying.

And you expect me to write more about this guy. He is, simply put, a star that burns so bright and so strong, but whose brightness is darker than darkness, speed as fast as the three-toed sloth (Bradypus tridactylus) and burning as... am hungry.

And oh, Sarah Palin and Larry King are coming live from Runda. Clones?

 I salute you with all my fingers PPK. What next? All things are possible.

And That's thesteifmasterake!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Mzee Stephen Kimani Ng'ang'a Maruge

When Mzee Kimani Ng'ang'a Maruge burst into the public limelight after enrolling for primary school education at the age of 84 in 2004, many dismissed it as a bad joke, a public stunt driven too far. But when this great-grandfather finally departed to his grave on August 14, 2009 of stomach cancer at the Cheshire Home for the Aged in Kariobangi North, Nairobi, he not only left a sweeping legacy that defied the odds in education and proved to many that it’s never too late to salvage a dream, but had his name firmly inscribed in the coveted Guinness World Record for being the oldest person to start primary school. 

Maruge, who believed he was born in 1920, attended Kapkenduiywo Primary School in Eldoret, Kenya. His trials to go to school before had proved fruitless. His renewed interest in education, he said, was as a result of the government’s decision to provide free primary education. 

While in school, Maruge commanded the respect of his classmates (grandchildren) and teachers and abode by the school rules and regulations. His socks were always pulled to the base of his knees, his hair was always well kempt and he reported to school early and frequent enough. With such discipline, he was made a prefect in the school. 

The 2007-2008 post-election violence that hit Kenya did not spare the old man. His property was stolen and his house in the Rift Valley was burnt down in the violence and he found himself living at an agricultural showground housing 14,000 displaced people, before he was later moved to the home for the aged. But even with such difficult situations, he continued with his hard work and swore to pursue university education. 

A veteran of Kenya's 1950s Mau Mau independence movement, Mr. Maruge said he was inspired to start learning when he suspected a preacher was misinterpreting the Bible. 'Mzee' Maruge also said he wanted to learn to count the money he was expecting to receive in compensation from the authorities for fighting against the British during the Mau Mau uprising. 

In September 2005, Maruge boarded a plane for the first time in his life, in a UN-sponsored trip to New York, simply the highlight of his life. Maruge addressed the United Nations Millennium Development Summit on the importance of free primary education and called on world leaders at the summit to make education for the poor a priority. 

On Sunday May 24, 2009 the father-of-five was baptised at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Kariobangi and took a Christian name, Stephen. Maruge died on August 14 aged 90, at the Chesire Home for the aged in Kariobangi North, where he was staying, from complications of stomach cancer. He was aged 89 and was buried in his farm in Subukia, Rift Valley Province, Kenya. 

In his everlasting quest for more knowledge, Mzee Maruge left many of us in Africa in urgent need to rethink education and not take it for granted.

It is his fight for a right to go to school that inspired a film, The First Grader, directed by English actor and television and film director Justin Chadwick to be shot in his owner. The First Grader is a true story of an 84 year-old Kenyan villager and ex Mau Mau freedom fighter who fights for his right to go to school for the first time to get the education he could never afford.

It stars among others, English screen actress Naomie Harris, "Hotel Rwanda" and " Invictus actor Tony Kgoroge and former news editor and international celebrity film actor Oliver Litondo.

And That's thesteifmastertake!!