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Monday, March 8, 2010

Arunga to Blame for Hellon's Woes - Not Vice Versa

They say behind every successful man, there’s a woman. I say behind every man aiming for success, there is a woe-man. And Hellon’s woman has been the lovely – really? – somebody Wakikuyu, and his woe-man, well, Esther (Arunga) Adongo Supanovess Vedeoxen, whatever whatever Timberlake.

Hellon’s success can be measured by the fact that he’s emerged as one of the, if not the, most gifted jazz musicians the East African region has been able to abort after a long gestation period. That’s just the furthest methinks most of us know of his success. Of course he has the money. And if he doesn’t, he should. Success equals money.

Having said that, one never fails to wonder where Esther chips in in Hellon’s so far so interesting life and success. Nowhere? Just follow me.

Everybody seems to be baying for Hellon’s blood. If Mr. Vedetis Supanova were to be seen passing along the Moi Avenue, without some three or so barrel-chested, fat-fingered, chubby bouncers, then merrily merrily I say unto you he could as well be playing jazz music to Lucifer in a controversial table in the nebula by now.

Mob justice. The only wheel of justice in Kenya that ensures justice is served immediately, if not ASAP.

But why does everyone think Supanova is the person on the wrong in this whole Finger of God saga. Is it because he happens to be the owner of the Church, or is it because he’s a lesser celebrity than Esther is/was. Isn’t it not a case of chauvinism and some sort of naivety that we are blaming Hellon for the woes of a grown-up, urbane and erudite woman who can, but is neither willing nor interested in deciding what’s good for her and what’s not?

Hasn’t Esther come out time and again with her melodious voice rattling in defence of the suspicious activities  of their (not Hellon’s) Church? Who can claim she has done and continue to do all these under duress?

And if Vedetis’ (don’t get confused, this is the same guy – Hellon Supanova, Nebula etc) cultist nature is nearing a rated R or irreversible level, who’s that individual who accompanies him to every press conference as they announce their latest level of… ahm… insanity? It is the stunning one.

And just who is that instigating legal suits against her family and pressing charges against the press? It is the mwaah one.

And if Quincy (in his lonely world in the cells) was just about to confess his transgressions and ask the authorities and the court to pardon him, who was that who came out of a psychiatrist’s clutch and announced what surely made the man feel like he was in the placenta of a Nebula? It is the gorgeous one.

And she even lionizes the man,
many a time referring to him as “my president.” Apparently, there’s not only any other god, but also a president, who’s not the people’s president. But may be she's right. Remember not even the Americans know who really won the crazy presidential elections in 2007. May be Hellon did, may be Ng'ethe did.

So, for all of you critics who are contemptuously spewing smoke and dust into Hellon’s face, claiming that the Placenta Party of Kenya (they need a DM somewhere to be registered) numero uno overstepped his mandate just by seeking and securing the soul of a beauty guru who has no doubt given PPK that extra publicity, give him a break. The Supanova is just doing what he does best; playing his super music.
And if the likes of Esther and Atuech are already too willing to wiggle their waists and dance to the nebulous tunes, let them. In fact, let whosoever wants to perambulate on that trajectory do so, whether it spells doom, gloom or both.

So whomsoever has been vituperating and pointing accusing fingers at our president who is in for a hell of a waiting, its high time you realized the man is not at fault, though the fault may be on him. All the accusing fingers should be cursing at the former TV queen, Atuech and other members of the FoG hardliners, present or former. They made him staunchly believe that he was on the right route to no-man's land.
In the intervening time, just let the man live in peace and tranquility. Esther screwed Esther and continues to screw Esther.

The best you can do is always advice the young ones to rush to their bedrooms whenever the A-two are almost gracing the telly with their latest announcement. Am personally beginning to feel my hair raising whenever I see them exude their nonchalant and faultless walk down that small hill before they settle for that press conference. The car (read lady) in front is always A-doyongo, with Hellon just about there.

The level that Placenta Part of Kenya has reached calls for warnings of viewer discretion and needs keen parental guidance.

"We are introducing into the Kenyan political landscape things that have never been heard before and terminologies that have never been heard before," Hellon, oh sorry the protostar that burns so bright and so strong, 15million degree celcius and at a speed so strong and so fast that it dazzles every form of competitor - including Bifwoli - was quoted saying.

And you expect me to write more about this guy. He is, simply put, a star that burns so bright and so strong, but whose brightness is darker than darkness, speed as fast as the three-toed sloth (Bradypus tridactylus) and burning as... am hungry.

And oh, Sarah Palin and Larry King are coming live from Runda. Clones?

 I salute you with all my fingers PPK. What next? All things are possible.

And That's thesteifmasterake!!