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Monday, September 6, 2010

Kenya Becoming the Strangest Country in the World

Murders Most Foul 

A lot of things – strange things - have been happening in Kenya of late. Just in the last week of August, a man butchered his wife and three children for reasons that only him, the machete and some mischievous sprite somewhere knew. The man, a boda-boda operator, reportedly did this under the deafening pitter-patter of the rain. He’s also reported to have raped one of her daughters before descending on her with his chosen weapon. This act of gross callousness was perpetrated on a Saturday night, most probably by a Christian who was looking forward to a great sermon come Sunday morning.

Just before this disturbing story disappeared from the airwaves, a stray cat was then reported to have devoured a newborn baby at a hospital in Kenya’s Garissa town. The cat, believed to have had rabies turned its hunger into the newborn who was left unattended as the mum was recovering from a caesarian delivery. Animal welfare officers were sent to the town located next to the Somali border to track, trap and kill the domesticated carnivore but no success has been reported so far.

Biting the Finger – or is it body – that feeds you, literally

Have you recovered from that? I bet not. To continue with the outlandish occurrences and murders most foul, a 25-year-old man surrendered to the police but only after stabbing to death two of his elder brothers in the middle of the night in a suburban town in Kenya’s Central province.

I don’t know what this whole killing and devouring means but it seems there is a rush to reduce the population of one specie in Kenya; humans. And it appears that both the human and animal (read cat) population have reached a consensus to work together and ensure that population numbers in Kenya doesn’t swell right from birth.

But for the cats, this is not such a smart move. I can only imagine how many mothers have developed an instantaneous fear of cats, or ailurophobia if you may. Talk of biting the fingers that feed you, or in the case of babies, potential fingers.

Get a Husband Pap!!

And for the single men, there was a grand meeting at the Kenyatta International Conference Centre (KICC) this past weekend. In only what can be dubbed as ’90 Wives/husbands in 90 Minutes’, a horde of love struck women flocked a marriage seminar presided over by Nigerian self proclaimed pastor of marriage, and perhaps professor in that field, Chris Ojigbani who made the ‘faithful’ believe they would get a husband pap! Working under the theme 'Your set time of marriage', the conference, which commenced on Friday, was attended by more than 5000 women who prayed and believed God would grant them their wish of getting married or remaining in it with peace.

It remains to be seen how many of these women will get marriage proposal asap, and whether or not this shows the extent of desperation that the Kenyan woman has gotten into depends on on which side of status you are.
Okoa Jac-hazi

Back in the office, and Atuech had a day to forget this Monday. She always has something to forget about on a Monday and this was no different. In what looked, smelled and sounded like a normal routine visit to the ladies/gents, the gods of lavatory must have dreamt of Atuech spending a good number of hours inside that room. I don’t know why her but then again, it was on a Monday and Atuech just had to have something to forget.

How long did she stay there? As long as someone could travel from Nairobi to Thika town under a heavy traffic. The positive thing is that she gained some experience in door-breaking in her attempt to help the makeshift carpenter free her from the misery – if it was one?

What I fear is that after the anguish, Atuech may have developed a certain serious condition called Corporophobia (Fear of going to the toilet). But that’s just a worse case scenario.

And That's thesteifmastertake!!